Thursday, February 18, 2010
Back in the Saddle: Part One
For fight fans: A great, concise analogy posted over at Krauser's.
Rumblings in the jungle as of late. I've gotten back on the horse that is game. Been awhile. Took a nice long multi-month break from actually getting out there and sarging. Like sticking your foot in the pool and feeling it chilly, the usual feeling out/accustomed phase is coming along. I've found blogs by guys who are separated, marriages ended, newly out of a LTR....and the quest begins anew. I'll provide my personal outline for getting back in the game and then follow up with my real world example from recent pursuit(s).
Here's my method for getting back in it.
1. go to a place where you have had success in the past/where you have social proof
2. springboard/open off a girl that gives you IOI's.
3. cold approach/"date" establishment
4. go on a "date"
Headed out last week and hit up a venue where I know virtually all of the staff, have been a regular on/off for several years, and has optimal grounds for interaction and non-threatening approaches. I skipped the dance lessons and watched as things picked up pace. An unattractive ginger came onto me, but I demured. Eventually, I asked a girl from **** to dance, we did, then later she said her friend wanted to dance. Flexed the conversational muscles with the two cute bartender girls I know, bullshitted with the barbacks and other guys I know, and got back in the mindset of confident, socially skilled, fun guy.
That's it. No peacocking or canned opening material. Just working on my inner state or whatever they sell as natural game these days by being social and having fun/relaxing.
2. Glanced down the bar in time to see an exquisite dark-haired girl. We made eye contact, and both of us broke into a smile. I opened with a simple, "hello", we talked for a few minutes then danced. I quickly segued into non-platonic dancing and we chatted again afterwards. We exchanged numbers.
3. the following night I headed out to meet a buddy. I glanced nearby and noticed a tall (uncharacteristic of my type) dark-haired girl with the latent sexiness of a non-American. I read the body language between her and the guy with her and deduced they were friends, and he was clearly in the LJBF purgatory. When he wasn't glued to her side, I was going to open. As luck would have it, she grabbed a seat next to mine and opened me with some situational bullshit about my *****. In life, like in game, it doesn't have to be pretty to be effective. So we talked, we compared interests, she read what she needed to in the semi-vague answers I gave. My experiences with girls from her native country helped me temper my dialogue with the right demonstrations of value regarding family and work ethic.
4. Most game centers around avoiding the standard, tried and true date. Normally, I agree. However, after a long lay off, sarging out on some HB10 (god, I loathe PUA lingo) is like coming out of knee surgery and trying to play pick up basketball with the local college team. It will likely end in catastrophic failure. Instead, go play with some 5th graders and go through the fundamentals.
- So, whilst I was waiting the call the girl I met dancing, the ***** from the 2nd night called and invited me out for a drink. We talked, flirted, she had her arm in mine, blah blaise.
I see success like a snowball or an avalanche. When it starts, like a crack or fissure in the surface, one may not even notice if they're not looking for the spark, the start. When it begins to pick up speed, awareness starts to spread....eventually, there's very little than can stop it. Rather than jump right off the deep and face a setback due to variable (s) like non-calibration, poor logistics, flakiness, I started small and worked my way back in the saddle. Of course, I made mistakes along the way, but by slowly increasing the pressure/situations, the learning curve is at times uncomfortable but manageable and bears a decent opportunity for success.
- With Greatest Affection