Monday, June 7, 2010


Soundtrack: All the Pretty Faces by The Killers
It's late. I trained hard. I cannot sleep.

She messaged me earlier. Just thinking about her choked me up. If I stop to think of her....I get choked up. Doesn't matter the time of day or night.

In the quiet of the night, my chest grows heavy and I waiver. I tell myself that I can make it work for her, for us.
My resolve grows weak, infirm. I miss her. I miss her falling asleep before I did. I miss reading while she slept and softly stirred every so often. I miss a great many, quiet, priceless, precious things.

I don't know how everything fell apart. But it did. My flaws as a man chiefly to blame.
I have a wedding to attend soon. She was to be my date. Another wedding we would have attended together.
It's tough enough facing the stark reality of her absence.

I don't know there's anywhere to go from here. I'm left wordless and exhausted by my nature and the broken dreams left in its wake.
There is a place beyond infatuation, beyond lust, beyond love, beyond devotion, beyond everything.....I simply feel inextricably bound to her.
-With Greatest Affection

1 comment:

  1. My heart says... give it another chance. My head says... walk away, it will get better. Difficult decision. I can't imagine it's 100% your fault that things fell apart, relationships take 2 people. If you treated her that poorly, she wouldn't be texting you.

    Maybe you'll go to the wedding and find some lovely woman to have a meaningful overnight relationship with? ;)

    Forgot to mention before, I changed my blog address due to lots of spam...