Soundtrack: All the Pretty Faces by The Killers
It's late. I trained hard. I cannot sleep.
She messaged me earlier. Just thinking about her choked me up. If I stop to think of her....I get choked up. Doesn't matter the time of day or night.
In the quiet of the night, my chest grows heavy and I waiver. I tell myself that I can make it work for her, for us.
My resolve grows weak, infirm. I miss her. I miss her falling asleep before I did. I miss reading while she slept and softly stirred every so often. I miss a great many, quiet, priceless, precious things.
I don't know how everything fell apart. But it did. My flaws as a man chiefly to blame.
I have a wedding to attend soon. She was to be my date. Another wedding we would have attended together.
It's tough enough facing the stark reality of her absence.
I don't know there's anywhere to go from here. I'm left wordless and exhausted by my nature and the broken dreams left in its wake.
There is a place beyond infatuation, beyond lust, beyond love, beyond devotion, beyond everything.....I simply feel inextricably bound to her.
-With Greatest Affection
An apology to Jordan Peterson
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