Thursday, March 11, 2010

Daredevil Stage 5 Clinger Chicken = Not for the faint of heart


Soundtrack: Spend The Night - by SWR
"We need to hang out again soon mister."
"Yeah....we should do that sometime."

We had sex. I guess you thought it was good. We did it during blackout inebriation levels. We woke up and in the midst of a blinding maelstrom of hungover-ness I knocked it out again. I could care less if we speak again. It happens. Word on the street is that I wouldn't be the first such horsey in that cock carousel that is your life.


I knew I didn't want to see you again. I had developed an anti-anti-clinger move. Virtually every time you meet a girl and she says she's not the relationship type, what she really means is that she won't actively use the term....but she'll call, text, facebook stalk......whatever....all the accoutrements that feel just like a relationship. The word is on her lips, behind her eyes, beneath her tongue, in every grasp of your cock.

I thought I was smart. I started a race to the bottom. 5 min's after getting back to my car I texted you. You responded in 5 min's. Good test. I bantered again on the way back to my place. You kept up.
"Surely she will back off and is just feigning that she's not freaked out by my facade of clingyness.
Fail.
You texted 2 hrs later as I sat downtown early day style sippin' a beer with a buddy @ a charity event. You showed up. I was chatting up some random slag when you walked in. I politely said "Hi" and gave you an awkward hug. I did my best beta impression. I said, "I missed you."
My buddy nearly spit out his beer when he heard this. Only after you left earshot did I explain the ruse to him.
"Dude, she fought long and hard to land you. She won't let you slip out that easy."
"We'll see."
I was ready for a game of daredevil stage 5 clinger chicken.
In the midst of pissing in the head, I sent you a text telling her how good she looked. I broke every rule about distance and non-chalance.

You left town & we didn't speak. Your quick to text fingers resumed @ the airport as you disembarked. Fuck.
I kept up pace and texted throughout work, @ lunch, before/after the gym....you did not quit. Finally I just stopped responding.

I lost.
You won.

You cannot beat a woman at the clinger game....esp. when you're doing it to blow her off....even when she first said she was not the "relationship" type....b/c that's the ultimate reverse psychology espionage fakeout.

Lesson learned.
Dually noted.
-With no affection whatsoever

3 comments:

  1. Another post with no affection? Where's the love, man?

    I have to ask, isn't playing clinger chicken playing by her rules? And if so, weren't you predestined to lose?

    ReplyDelete
  2. i figured i'd fake out her fake out for saying she wasn't looking for a relationship. i forgot the cardinal rule in dealing with women. they don't mean what they say, they mean something other than what they say when they claim they've said what they meant.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I thought I was being blown into the place men send women they prefer not to know. This post is quite thought provoking from my female pov. Much different than your perspective.

    ReplyDelete