Tuesday, April 20, 2010


Spent some time out of town. It cleared my head as it always does. The hour(s) on the road gave time to consider much and ponder my direction (lack thereof).
Long ago I stopped valuing things just b/c society said I should. If you want what everyone else has, do what everyone else does. Not many people seem happy....so it occurred that perhaps their value system was to blame.

As a result, I've been adrift to make and ascribe value as I see fit. This has brought on its own host of problems....but at least I'm not doing things just b/c the sheep do. I guess.
Maybe. Perhaps. Not?

For a few days at least, the mania has been on vacation. I've slept early and I've slept fitfully despite not having trained much due to injury.
It's an odd feeling. I have no lust for the brink, nor that gnawing feeling of boredom assailing my peace of mind.
I can truly assess that relative to finishing college, then a year later, then a year more recently....my roll has slowed demonstrably.

I had a hard time leaving this morning. She lay half awake by my side. Beautiful face, dark hair, soft skin, warm.....peacefully roaming the borderland between consciousness and sleep. I pondered the times we have shared and the heavy cost this blog/my actions have exacted.
I thought about her long after sped along the expressway to work and toil.

Times....they are a' changin'.....to be sure.
I bid thee well faithful readership. Go forth and seek your dreams & desires.
-With Greatest Affection


  1. My little sister is a staunch atheist. Buys t-shirts advertising it. Reads books about it. Tries to convert people. To me, she's in evangelical territory; she's just witnessing for her lack of belief system. It's tantamount to walking around all day telling people, "I don't believe in the abominable snow man. Santa Claus doesn't exist." If you don't believe, why does it consume so much of your time?

    I say that to say this: There is much the sheep do that is worth criticism, but it's not all a clusterfuck of lies. Sleep, peace, and a clear head are worth something. Everything involves tradeoffs. One can mingle with the sheep without becoming one. It's all in the execution.

  2. i know someone like that. at some point, they're so certain of their own idea/their own non-belief, that they feel just like an evangelical that you're talking to.

    that kind of certainty on any topic bothers me.