Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Signs of the Times

Soundtrack for the day: Black Strobe - I'm a Man
Oxymoronic site of the day: Christian Science Monitor
Book Recommendation of the day: Rabbit, Redux by John Updike
Link of the Day: (from Whiskey's Place) This is how they roll in South Africa
Extra link of the Day: Bailouts and Suckers(anyone who supported them)
I was standing at the ****** with my ex ex the other day, surviving the arctic chill so humorously and strangely coming in the midst of global warming (I can hear it now, no, listen, the cold weather is ALSO BECAUSE OF GLOBAL WARMING!!!!!!! THE HORROR!!!! THE TERRIBLE-NESS!!!!!).
She referred to my vocal disdain, rather mistrust, of the institution of marriage and families. I gently corrected her in a low calm voice.
"I don't dislike families or even children. Hell, it's not even marriage I distrust. It's the punitive cost to the man in the form of preferential treatment for the woman. Combine that with the fact that 7 out of 10 times in a divorce, the woman is the one initiating...and well....you know.
Imagine if I entered into a contract that 7 out of 10 times cost me tens of thousands if not more dollars. 'You'd say well, you had it coming.' And you'd be right." I knew the data. I knew the facts. I still signed on the dotted line. I'm just saying that it's hard to advocate signing away half my shit and much of my future shit for something that fails not by my own volition 7 times out of 10."

She nodded and agreed that the laws were making marriage and children a riskier and riskier endeavor for the modern man.

Some thoughts on my son, should I ever get caught with my hand in the cookie jar, or when I'm 40 I manage to accidentally impregnate some young Brasileirinha near the cafe/bar I own.....
He will play a sport from a young age. He may play an instrument if HE chooses, not b/c I will make him. He will learn a 2nd language, perhaps a 3rd if I am living abroad at the time (likely). He will wrestle or do Judo, something in preparation for competing as an individual. Train as a team, but compete by yourself. Thereby accruing the advantages of both self-reliance and the team mentality. Few excuses will be made for his behavior and failures. I will lead by example and only occasionally divulge stories of my life but they will be cryptic and symbolic. When he cries, I will admonish him. When he is weak I will voice disappointment in terse terms. Not b/c I am truly disappointed but b/c coddling makes a weak boy and a weaker man. When he accomplishes something, I will have few words of encouragement, but this knowing and proud admission will be worth its weight in gold.
I will tell him the workings of men and women, but he will likely disbelieve until he discovers for himself the truth. Such is the fate of all men who are given rather than forced to obtain knowledge at the outset. What he must learn above all, above all other rules and codes and laws....is that a man must be self-made. A man is only what he chooses to be by forcing himself into the brink, into the uncomfortable, into the dangerous. A man is only the sum of obstacles he has faced, failed, and conquered.
I was lucky. I chose to mire myself in the hellish gym and fail time and again. I could have easily were it not for some innate drive been a cowardly simp of a man, with moppish hair that bought into the modern media blitz glorifying the beta male that is pathetic and shameful and undeserving of his birthright as the heir to generations of men who passed on their genetic material. I will do my best to insure my son is not one of them. Should he be gay, then I will encourage him to be the prettiest and most craved of gay men. Should my child be a woman, then I will turn her into a haughty and man-breaking creature.

-With Greatest Affection

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