Friday, March 5, 2010

Love in the time of Mania

A picture may be worth a thousands words...but no picture will embody the right words for this......

Soundtrack: Separate by Sevendust
My eyes open. My muscles shriek with complaint each time I move. Everything hurts from training. I'm neck deep in the purgatory of the gym in hopes of staying sober.

I turn to my right and see her long, dark hair resting on the comforter. She is all but hidden from view as we both linger amidst the twisting of sheets and combined warmth. A slow, appreciative, contemplative smile spreads across my lips. Her soft skin and warm body stirs quietly with the sigh of a pleasant stretch after deep sleep. I smell her hair and kiss her shoulder then pull her to me. If only it were Saturday and this need not end.

If only I were different and this need not end.

The offers to go out last night were extended by various members of my rogue's gallery.
There was a Russian night to attend.....a Latin night...a Brazilian International night was a veritable buffet of interest....on the surface anyway.
I contemplated these offers and options on my drive home from the gym despite my considerable weariness from the gym. My mind roved and I considered a quick shower, food downtown, then socializing with debutantes of the late night, bedazzled and vajazzled variety. We spoke on the phone and her words beckoned to me over the din and blaring shouts of downtown's megaphone: a cacophony of sound quieted by the whisper and promise of her presence. She is the peace to my violence.

Some TV then semi-awake time spent together in the haze of contentedness.

This is the closest to happy I have been in all my dark, torrid days of searching day and night after endless day and night.

I close my eyes and savor this moment just as I did the moment in front of the crowd after my last fight. A moment staggering in its purity and power...yet fleeting and intangible as any those few you know will haunt you for all your days. All the searching, all the mistakes, all the disappointment....all made worthwhile, all validated....with a moment so brief as to only last a few seconds.

The dark passenger sits perched nearby....licking its garish, ravaged lips, rocking to and fro.....I sigh inwardly....a sigh equal parts in hope and acceptance .